Now this one is a little closer to home, this one was with my guy bestfriend. Who knew that eventually we would end up liking each other .... at different times. At first when we met it was I who had a small crush for him but I knew that being friends first would benefit more as we begun to talk more and as I begun to see more of his heart.
Second Guy: taught me to remember that God's plans and desires are much greater than mine.
As much as I want to end up with a guy who was my bestfriend, it didn't seem fitting for the both of us. I again had to take guard of my heart. Already we were tight friends, I felt comfortable around him, I could tell him anything and he knew almost everything that I was going through. During that time, that was when I was starting to get 'poisoned' (reference to 'Creating a Filter'). He was (and is) always there for me and I loved that. You may think, why .. why wouldn't you like him back, he's your bestfriend?! Well, God was prompting me that we weren't ready for any relationship and that this was to just remain as a friendship.
This was towards the middle of last year that he had begun to like me. I admit, I kind of liked it because in the back of my mind I thought to myself: wow .. finally! Haha. But my heart wasn't in it because God was pulling me back. It became complicated during that phase, he was waiting for my response and kind of expecting that I would reciprocate those feelings but I couldn't. I really couldn't. This affected the friendship so much, it made me so self-concious of how I acted around him that the comfort wasn't there anymore. It was risky. So then we had to talk, really talk. It took time for us to meditate on His Word, to pray and to just be by ourselves. We came to closure that we're both not ready for anything and that this friendship has a lot more potential than what we see now.
The more I found myself immersed in God's love rather than my bestfriends love, the more I saw His plans and desires for me. From that time until now, His desire is for me to fall in love with Him the most I can so that it may be reciprocated to the one He has chosen specially for me. I learnt that what God has in store for me, is much greater than what I can imagine for myself. His plans are better, His desires are better and anyway He is far better than I am.